Tag Archives: kids say fu

My kids say the darndest things – the January 2013 edition

I’m skipping my WWW Wednesdays update because I’m still reading Killing Floor by Lee Child (it’s very good by the way). Instead I’ve got something I think you’ll enjoy very much.

My kids have been saying some pretty funny things recently and I’ve tried to write them down so I wouldn’t forget. Unfortunately I missed a few but I still have a good list to share. I love to witness first-hand how their little brains work, and what their thought process is.

Warning: this post is rated R for some crude language. I could have bleeped it, but I don’t think you would get the full effect that way. It’s much funnier with the dirty words. :-)

Reminder: Son#1 is 6 and a half years old at this time. Son #2 is almost 5.

New year's resolutionsA child’s new year resolutions
Son #1: “Our writing at school today was about our new year’s resolutions.”
Me: “Oh, yeah? What did you write about?”
Son #2: “I wrote I want to eat healthy foods, exercise, and not smoke.”
Phew, I’m glad to hear, especially about the smoking part!

The way to a mom’s heart is through her son’s stomach
Son #2: “My favorite part of the day is when I bake with you, Mama.”
Me: “How nice! I love baking with you too.”
Son #2: “Can we bake some chocolate chip cookies now?” (big grin)
Argh, I was tricked by a four-year old!

A grandmother’s age
Son #2: “Mami* is 100 years old.” (*my mom)
Me: “Really? How do you know that?”
Son #2: “Because all grandmothers are 100 years old. And then they die. Because nobody lives older than 100.”
I guess grandmothers get to stay 100 years old for a long time…

Know your superheroes
Son #1: “Mama, what’s Dr Seuss’s real name again?”
Me: ” Er, let me think about it, it’s on the tip of my tongue.”
Son #2: “Bruce Wayne!”
Yep! Batman, Dr Seuss, they’re both superheroes from a child’s point of view.

Know your animals #1
Son #2: “Do you know a wild asshole is an animal?”
Me: “Um, it’s called a wild ass.”
Son #1: “No, Mama, it’s called a wild asshole!”
These are the times when I know to give up trying to educate my kid, and just walk away.

Macaroni penguinKnow your animals #2
Son #2: “Look Mama, it’s a… a…” (pointing at the photo of an animal)
Me: “A penguin?”
Son #2: “What’s that called again? A mac and cheese penguin?”
Oh, so close! By the way, he did recall it was a macaroni penguin later. He knows more animal names than I do.

The letter F
My four-year old studies a new letter every week at school and the teacher asks kids to give her words starting with that letter every day. The letter F was coming up the following week so we wanted to brainstorm and find some words.
Me: “What words starting with F do you know?”
Son #2: “Fucking.”
Me: “No, you don’t say that word at school.”
Son #2: “How about fuck?”
Breathe…

Sounds like…
Son #1: “Can we do a conquest?”
Me: “Sure, what are we conquering?”
Son #1: “Mama, I meant contest!”
Why not go along? It sounded like fun. :-)

When I grow up
Son #2: “Mama, what do you want to me when you grow up?”
Me: “I’m already grown up.”
Son #2: “Oh… What do you want to be when you’re already grown up?”
You can read more about our “When I grow up” conversations here.