Tag Archives: humor

Goofy Monday: Is the tooth fairy for real?

Toothiana - my favorite tooth fairy from Rise of the Guardians

Toothiana – my favorite tooth fairy from Rise of the Guardians

It’s been a long time since I posted a Goofy Monday and since I’ve managed to take notes about a few goofy moments over the summer, I thought today would be a good time to share them with you. A quick reminder: Son #1 turned 8 over the summer, Son #2 is 6 and 1/2.

The dangers of skydiving
Son #1 (thinking out loud): “Skydiving right into a cactus. That’s one way to feel pain fast.”
You don’t say! Ouch.

History explained in simple terms
Son #1: “When you say a year, BC means before cavemen, and AD means after dinosaurs.”
Me: “That’s just about right.”

How to make women happy
Son #2: “Mama, do you like it when I do something the first time you ask me?”
Me: “I LOVE it!”
This little guy is going to have some very happy girlfriends…

What happened to my birthday month?
Son #1: “Mama, you’re not treating me like it’s my birthday month. You’re telling me to DO things.”
I think he could learn a thing or two from his brother.

What a great summer school teacher I am!
Son #1: “c-7=46, so c=53.”
Me: “Wow, this summer homework is really working.”
Son #1: “No, Mama. I just have a sharp mind.”
Being a mom really is an ungrateful rewarding job.

Is the tooth fairy for real?
Son #2 lost a tooth yesterday and it started this conversation.
Son #1: “Mama, how do we know you don’t take the tooth and put the money there instead of the tooth fairy?”
Me: “Well, which version do you prefer?”
Son #1: “The tooth fairy.”
Me: “Me too.”

Have your own kids told you something recently that made you laugh? Or cry? Feel free to share in the comments section below.

 

Advertisements

Goofy Monday: true advertising

Every day, my kids are bombarded with advertising messages, whether it’s on the radio, TV or in writing form everywhere they go. And boy, do they notice! I have to admit my kids are smart. With a marketing professional as their mom, they can recognize the “smoke and mirrors” when they see them, and they’re often skeptical of the advertising messages they see and hear. But sometimes, they also realize that advertising can be true…

Long lasting flavor
Son #1: “Look at the gum box. It says “long lasting flavor.”
Me: “And?”
Son #1: “It’s actually true! I’ve been chewing on this gum forever and it still tastes like this. Wow, I can’t believe it.”

Trident gum - long lasting flavor

Trident gum – long lasting flavor

Overflowing shelves
Son #1 (during a trip at ToysRUs before Son #2’s birthday): “Look, mama, the shelves are overflowing with toys!”
Me: “That’s a good way to describe it.” (have you seen how many toys are in there???)
Son #1: “No, that’s what they say on the radio, and it’s TRUE!” pointing at all the toys)
I personally think ToysRUs is still trying to get rid of excess inventory left over after Christmas, but you can’t say anything bad about their accurate statement.

Now, this Goofy Monday edition isn’t all about advertising, true or false. It’s also about socks.

Those darn socks
One day, I watched Son #1 pulling his socks up repeatedly until I said this…
Me: “Stop pulling on your socks. You’re going to stretch them and ruin them.”
Son #1: “But they keep coming down, I don’t know why.”
Me: “Let me see.”
I took a look at his socks and realized the problem.
Me: “Oh, that’s because they’re MY socks. Sorry…”
Do you know how hard it is to sort white socks and figure out whose they are as you put them away?

What’s that black thing?
Son #2: “Mama, there’s a caterpillar on the floor!”
Me: “Where?”
Son #2: “In the closet. It’s a fuzzy caterpillar, so watch out.” (those are the poisonous ones that burn your skin if you touch them with bare hands)
Me (looking at the black thing on the closet floor): “Oh, I think it’s dead.”
Can you guess what the “caterpillar” was?

Black caterpillar fuzz

Black caterpillar fuzz

Love hurts
Son #2 (squeezing me very hard): “Mama, I love you so much, your eyes will pop out.”
Me (barely breathing): “I bet you’re right. You might even crack a few of my ribs.”
What can I say, those are the best hugs in the world!

Goofy Monday: Don’t drive like my brother!

Wow, it’s been a long time since I wrote a Goofy Monday post. I’ve been writing all these funny things my kids say on memos on my cell phone and I’m just going through the list right now to put this post together. You’ve got to love technology for helping you capture these thoughts right in the moment, when you don’t have a piece of paper handy and your memory has more holes than Swiss cheese.

LEGOLAND driving school

Goofy Monday: Legoland driving school - Copyright Lego

Goofy Monday: Legoland driving school – Copyright Lego

I recently took my kids to LEGOLAND California, and while we were waiting in line for the driving school attraction, we had plenty of time to look at the kids who were currently driving around. So many of them were running stop signs and red lights, driving on the wrong side of the road and crashing into other cars, that made waiting in line very entertaining. And then we reached the front of the line.

Me: “Are you guys ready to hit the road?”
Son #1: “Yes! Hey, everybody, don’t drive like my brother!”

I burst out laughing when I heard him say that! Can you guess we’re fans of NPR’s Car Talk radio show? We’ve obviously heard their signature goodbye line too many times. The funny thing is, I could easily picture my kids having their own radio show one day, and crack up jokes while they help people solve their mechanical or engineering problems. Or maybe, their Lego building problems…

Lego vs. Mega Bloks super heroes

Talking about Lego, one of its copycats competitors is Mega Bloks. And although we happen to have mostly Lego at our house, we also have a few Mega Bloks sets.

Son #1 (talking to the Mega Bloks character his brother is holding): “Come up here so we can ride together.”
Son #2: “I’m Mega Bloks. I don’t fit on Lego.”

Haha, sorry Mega Bloks, so much for taking down the Lego empire. Even 5 and 7-year olds know better than try to mix them up.

Love stinks
Son #2: “Mama, you look so beautiful tonight!”
Me: “Aw, thank you!”
Son #2: “Ew, you have stinky breath!!!”
Ah, the joys of motherhood…

Cracking nuts
Son #2 performs a stunt, jumping high and landing in a fake split position.
Me: “Are you OK?”
Son #2: “Argh, I think I cracked a nut ball.”

Life with boys is never boring. Ever. But I love every minute of it. What are some of your kids’ favorite lines?

Meet Wink, our elf on the shelf

A few years ago, I was tempted to get the popular Elf on the shelf. I thought, what better way to motivate my kids to be good the month before Christmas? But thinking of it, I wanted them to try their best every day, not just a few weeks before toy overload day. I never thought the day would come when BOTH my kids would ask me to get them an elf on the shelf. Apparently, there’s a lot of peer pressure at school, and when a bunch of kids in your class have their own elf on the shelf, you’d better get one too. Ah, what a brilliant marketing idea…

So a couple of weeks ago, we visited our local Target and purchased our elf. Of course, it had to be a boy (once again, I’m outnumbered). We brought the packaged book/elf box home, carefully took our elf out and put him up above our fireplace. After a few minutes debating, the kids decided to name him Wink. I’m a little disturbed by the fact that Wink doesn’t have feet but I understand that frostbite can be a result of living at the North Pole.

Wink, our elf on the shelf

Wink, our elf on the shelf

Doesn’t he look cute and innocent? I asked my kids if they thought Wink was nice or mischievous. They wholeheartedly agreed he was NICE! Apparently, all elves who report to Santa at the North Pole every night have to be nice. And for the first few days, I enjoyed catching my kids talking to Wink once in a while, asking him to report some things to Santa, even ask him for “the force”. I figure, when kids can believe in the magic of Christmas, why wouldn’t they think that the force is real too? Hey, I’d like some of that!

Wink was busy on his first night at our house. When he came back from his visit to the North Pole, he made the boys some paper snowflakes and left them a note. How nice!

Wink makes paper snowflakes

Wink makes paper snowflakes

I guess Wink saw us putting together the walls for our gingerbread house because during the next night, he took a look at the candy decorations for it. I should add that he didn’t eat any.

Wink helps us with the gingerbread house

Wink helps us with the gingerbread house

Another night, Wink couldn’t resist playing with the balloon decorations the boys got. Riding an airplane while holding a sword, how fun!

Wink on a balloon airplane

Wink on a balloon airplane

Wink discovered we were doing a Christmas countdown on our white board, so he decided to update the picture for us. The boys were very impressed with his idea!

Wink draws on our Christmas countdown white board

Wink draws on our Christmas countdown white board

We have so many Lego at our house, I guess it’s hard for an elf to resist. Here he is, playing with a Lego Legends of Chima speedorz. Zoom zoom!

Wink with Lego Chima speedorz

Wink with Lego Chima speedorz

After we finished our gingerbread house, Wink stopped by to inspect it.

Wink checks out our gingerbread house

Wink checks out our gingerbread house

He must have realized there was something wrong with this house’s decorations. Yep, that’s because Son #1 turned into Hans and started eating them one by one. The gingerbread house actually looked like this when we finished it. I’m so glad I took a picture of the intact model! Do you know how hard it is to make that stuff with two boys that try to sabotage your artistic efforts?

Gingerbread house decorations

Gingerbread house decorations

I guess all that candy made Wink hungry because he eventually found our candy stash in the kitchen. Yum, gummy worms!

Wink finds our candy

Wink finds our candy

My son left his book overnight on the couch. I hear it’s a very funny book and I think Wink agrees. Look, he even got to read it with his friends the polar bear and the husky.

Wink reads a book

Wink reads a book

And when I added more presents under the Christmas tree, guess who was there to tell the kids?

Wink under the Christmas tree

Wink under the Christmas tree

All this time, Wink stayed downstairs. Well, that was until last night, when he finally ventured upstairs into the boys’ bedroom (Mama, how did Wink open the bedroom door?). He must have been very excited to see a Lego Star Wars X-wing fighter.

Wink rides a Lego Star Wars X-wing fighter

Wink rides a Lego Star Wars X-wing fighter

And now the big question is, where will Wink be tomorrow morning? Will be stay upstairs in the boys’ room or will he go back downstairs? What do you think Wink should add to his list of adventures?