Tag Archives: funny

Goofy Monday: Is the tooth fairy for real?

Toothiana - my favorite tooth fairy from Rise of the Guardians

Toothiana – my favorite tooth fairy from Rise of the Guardians

It’s been a long time since I posted a Goofy Monday and since I’ve managed to take notes about a few goofy moments over the summer, I thought today would be a good time to share them with you. A quick reminder: Son #1 turned 8 over the summer, Son #2 is 6 and 1/2.

The dangers of skydiving
Son #1 (thinking out loud): “Skydiving right into a cactus. That’s one way to feel pain fast.”
You don’t say! Ouch.

History explained in simple terms
Son #1: “When you say a year, BC means before cavemen, and AD means after dinosaurs.”
Me: “That’s just about right.”

How to make women happy
Son #2: “Mama, do you like it when I do something the first time you ask me?”
Me: “I LOVE it!”
This little guy is going to have some very happy girlfriends…

What happened to my birthday month?
Son #1: “Mama, you’re not treating me like it’s my birthday month. You’re telling me to DO things.”
I think he could learn a thing or two from his brother.

What a great summer school teacher I am!
Son #1: “c-7=46, so c=53.”
Me: “Wow, this summer homework is really working.”
Son #1: “No, Mama. I just have a sharp mind.”
Being a mom really is an ungrateful rewarding job.

Is the tooth fairy for real?
Son #2 lost a tooth yesterday and it started this conversation.
Son #1: “Mama, how do we know you don’t take the tooth and put the money there instead of the tooth fairy?”
Me: “Well, which version do you prefer?”
Son #1: “The tooth fairy.”
Me: “Me too.”

Have your own kids told you something recently that made you laugh? Or cry? Feel free to share in the comments section below.

 

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Goofy Monday a la French, and some other unknown land…

Hey, look, it’s Monday! And I have a new Goofy Monday post for you. Don’t you feel lucky? Oh, is that Irish luck rubbing on you? Well, you’ll have to wait a week for that. Nope, it’s French luck. Check out the French connection in the first two conversations. My kids have French blood running through their veins and they know it!

The smell of freedom
Son #2 (getting out of the car at San Diego’s Balboa Park): “Aaaaahhh, smell that? It’s the smell of freedom.”
Son #1: “No it’s not. It smells like croissant.”
Incidentally there was a croissant in my bag, so I think Son #1 may have been correct. But I’ll give Son #2 an A for his figurative sense of smell.

What color is your rainbow?
Son #2 (drawing a rainbow): “Red first. Then orange…”
Me (looking at him drawing): “Isn’t the orange is supposed to go on top of the red, not below?”
Son #1: “Maybe in France it’s like that, but here the red is a the bottom of the rainbow.”
I’m so bad at drawing rainbows, I had to google the answer. And just so you know, French rainbows look the same as American rainbows. I obviously have no clue, but for my defense, I’d like to add that when you see a double rainbow, the lower rainbow displays the colors in reverse, since it’s a reflection of the other rainbow. Maybe that’s what I was thinking of…

The colors of the double rainbow

The colors of the double rainbow

What’s your Native American name?
Son #2: “In class, we’re picking Native American names. You have to pick a nature name and an animal name, and put them together. What do you want to be?”
Me: “Oh, I’d like to be something soft.”
Son #2: “How about… a porcupine?”
Me: “Uh, maybe something a little softer.”
Ouch, I wouldn’t want to cuddle with one of those. By the way, I ended up being Snow Bear.

You’re not welcome in my imaginary land
Son #2 is talking on a cell phone, pretending…
Me: “Who are you calling?”
Son #2: “I don’t have to tell you who I’m pretending to call.” (what can I say ? He’s practicing his teenage attitude…)
Son #2 continues to talk, and now I’m listening…
Son #2: “Hi, I’m calling from Metro Decor*. I’m trying to recover a dead sloth. I’m about to go on the bunny of terror.”
Wow, I know who to ask if I’m looking for storybook inspiration!
*Metro Decor is a furniture store that advertises on the radio.

Goofy Monday: Don’t drive like my brother!

Wow, it’s been a long time since I wrote a Goofy Monday post. I’ve been writing all these funny things my kids say on memos on my cell phone and I’m just going through the list right now to put this post together. You’ve got to love technology for helping you capture these thoughts right in the moment, when you don’t have a piece of paper handy and your memory has more holes than Swiss cheese.

LEGOLAND driving school

Goofy Monday: Legoland driving school - Copyright Lego

Goofy Monday: Legoland driving school – Copyright Lego

I recently took my kids to LEGOLAND California, and while we were waiting in line for the driving school attraction, we had plenty of time to look at the kids who were currently driving around. So many of them were running stop signs and red lights, driving on the wrong side of the road and crashing into other cars, that made waiting in line very entertaining. And then we reached the front of the line.

Me: “Are you guys ready to hit the road?”
Son #1: “Yes! Hey, everybody, don’t drive like my brother!”

I burst out laughing when I heard him say that! Can you guess we’re fans of NPR’s Car Talk radio show? We’ve obviously heard their signature goodbye line too many times. The funny thing is, I could easily picture my kids having their own radio show one day, and crack up jokes while they help people solve their mechanical or engineering problems. Or maybe, their Lego building problems…

Lego vs. Mega Bloks super heroes

Talking about Lego, one of its copycats competitors is Mega Bloks. And although we happen to have mostly Lego at our house, we also have a few Mega Bloks sets.

Son #1 (talking to the Mega Bloks character his brother is holding): “Come up here so we can ride together.”
Son #2: “I’m Mega Bloks. I don’t fit on Lego.”

Haha, sorry Mega Bloks, so much for taking down the Lego empire. Even 5 and 7-year olds know better than try to mix them up.

Love stinks
Son #2: “Mama, you look so beautiful tonight!”
Me: “Aw, thank you!”
Son #2: “Ew, you have stinky breath!!!”
Ah, the joys of motherhood…

Cracking nuts
Son #2 performs a stunt, jumping high and landing in a fake split position.
Me: “Are you OK?”
Son #2: “Argh, I think I cracked a nut ball.”

Life with boys is never boring. Ever. But I love every minute of it. What are some of your kids’ favorite lines?

Goofy Monday: keeping up with kid logic

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It’s a new edition of Goofy Monday! Did you miss it? I think being around kids is a great way to keep your brain alert and working. And constantly confused. I love how kid logic works. Kids really do say the darndest things.

Deep conversation for breakfast
Son #1: “Mama, when we’re all done with this life, can I have the box?”
Me: “What? Life? Box?”
Son #1: “This box.” (shaking the Life cereal box)
Me: “Phew!”
Warning: eating Life cereal can lead to conversations that are way, way too deep for breakfast time.

Box of life cereal

Box of life cereal

Star Wars Logic
Son #1 (looking at a Star Wars book): “It looks like the guys Darth Vader killed. But not the ones that are dead.”
Hmm, I think I need a Star Wars refresher… Which guys would those be?

Bucket of army men
We’re driving through San Diego’s Balboa Park, on the way to the zoo.
Son #1: “Wow, I just saw some army men. But not the plastic kind.”
Haha, why do kids have to insert toy references to every conversation?

Bucket of army men

Bucket of army men

Money doesn’t grow on trees
Son #1: “Who wants $400?”
Son # 2: “Meeeee!”
Son #1: “Then you’ll have to earn $400.”
I guess that’s why they call seven the age of reason. He’s learning fast.

I’m a dork
Son #1: “Let’s play the word guessing game. I’ll go first. It starts with a D.”
Me: “Hmm, I think we need more clues.”
Son #1: “It’s something to do with the pool.”
Son #2: “Water! Jump! Splash!”
Me: “Oh, I don’t know. Dehydrated?” (Wow, did I seriously just say that???)
Son #1: “No! It’s dive, like a submarine.”
Now, wouldn’t you love to see a submarine dive in a pool?