My best Mother’s Day present ever

This year my kids have given me the best Mother’s Day present I could ever ask for. No, it wasn’t the very cute handmade card, although this was probably the best Mother’s Day card I’ve received so far. It wasn’t the little vase with tissue paper glued to it either (I’ll do my best not to break it!). Or the dozen times I heard “Happy Mother’s Day” today, delivered with plenty of hugs and kisses.

Today, on Mother’s Day 2011, and probably for the first time since I ever became a mom, my kids slept in, and therefore I slept in. I woke up at 6am, then 7am, then 7:30am, wondering when one of them would show up in our bed. Finally at 8 o’clock I opened my eyes, fully rested, and had to go in their bedroom to make sure they were doing OK.

I slept 8 hours straight last night. More than the 7 hours I wrote down as one of my 101 tasks in 1001 days. It’s actually the first time since I started this challenge a week ago that I managed to sleep at least 7 hours, and it happened to be on Mother’s Day! I can’t remember the last time I slept 8 hours in one night – it’s been that long.

For that I’ll be forever grateful. So I’d like to ask my kids to consider instituting a sleep-in mandate for all future Mother’s Days. Do you think I’m pushing my luck? Thank you, my boys!

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I’m signing up for “101 tasks in 1001 days”

May 1, 2011 will be the start of an interesting adventure and experience for me, as a person, a woman, a mother, a wife, a friend, and a writer. Inspired by my fellow bloggers at Sarsm’s Blog and The Laughing Housewife, who themselves were inspired by the Day Zero Project, I’m taking on 101 tasks in 1001 days.

Why am I doing this? After much soul searching these past few months, and so much going on at home every day, it’s time to bring focus into my life. There have been lots of things I’ve wanted to do, but they never seem to get done. Lots of things I’d like to start working on, but I never start. Most new year’s resolutions don’t get completed because people don’t write them down. I believe the same thing applies to anything you want to do with your life, big or small. By writing them down, they become real, touchable, and we in turn become accountable, and hopefully motivated.

So I’m taking on the day-to-day challenge with my fellow bloggers Sarah and Tilly Bud. I’m counting on their support to make it through the next 1001 days and end up proud of what I’ll have accomplished. Some things on my list may seem trivial, others out of reach or unrealistic, but they’re all on it for the same reason. I want every single task (fun or not) done.

The three of us would be very happy to have you on board with us, if you’re interested in taking on the challange. Just visit Sarsm’s Blog for more details.

Deep breath… Here are the 101 things I want to accomplish in 1001 days.

Start date: May 1, 2011
End date: January 27, 2014
1001 days equal to:
- 2 years, 8 months, 26 days
- Almost 33 months
- A little more than 143 weeks

Home & Organization

1) Grow food plants in the garden (Spring 2011) (0/1)
2) Grow food plants in the garden (Summer / Fall 2011) (0/1)
3) Grow food plants in the garden (Spring 2012) (0/1)
4) Grow food plants in the garden (Summer / Fall 2012) (0/1)
5) Grow food plants in the garden (Spring 2013) (0/1)
6)Grow food plants in the garden (Summer / Fall 2013) (0/1)
7) Plant flowers/flowering plants in the backyard (0/1)
8) Grow strawberries (0/1)
9) Decorate our living room’s bare walls (0/1)
10) Decorate our bedroom’s bare walls (0/1)
11) Make my office an organized, well-decorated, comfortable place of inspiration (0/1)
12) Buy new tools to replace those missing from my tool box (0/1)
13) Patch the numerous small holes that decorate our walls throughout the house (0/1)
14) Install the new curtains and curtain rod for our sliding window (0/1)
15) Install microwave oven over the stove or repair the current oven (0/1)
16) Get our stove gas burners fixed (0/1)
17) Sell the baby crib by end of spring 2011 (0/1)
18) Sell or donate the baby toys and clothes in the closet and garage by end of summer 2011 (0/1)
19) Clean out and organize the kids’ closets (0/1)
20) Clean out and organize the kitchen cabinets and pantry (0/1)
21) Redo the varnish on the bathroom vanity (0/1)
22) Clean out my bedroom closet (0/1)
23) Clean out the garage (0/1)
24) Repaint the walls of my dining room and kitchen in a color I like (0/1)
25) Create a kid’s art & craft box easy to access (0/1)
26) Store the kids’ artwork in storage boxes (0/1)
27) Clean out my various email inboxes and folders (0/1)
28) Unsubscribe from emails I never read (0/1)
29) Organize and clean up my internet browser bookmarks (0/1)
30) Edit and save all family / kid photos I took since the birth of my first child in 2006 (0/1)
31) Upload the saved photos onto albums on the Shutterfly website to share with family and friends (0/1)
32) Print memorable photos of my oldest child for the large photo collage frame I bought and put it on the staircase wall (0/1)
33) Print memorable photos of my youngest child for the large photo collage frame I bought and put it on the staircase wall (0/1)

Writing

34) Spend 3 hours a day on writing activities (paid or not) during the week, 2 hours a day on weekends (0/1001)
35) Send 100 article queries to magazines and publications (0/100)
36) Post once a week to my Perfecting Motherhood blog (0/143)
37) Post once a week to my new freelance writing website’s blog (see task #51) (0/143)
38) Post once a day to my Every Day I See a Cow blog until December 31, 2011 (0/244)
39) Post 2 to 4 times a month to my Buy Products From France website (0/72)
40) Attend a writers’ meeting several times a year (0/10)
41) Join a book club (0/1)
42) Write my first book (0/1)

Reading

43) Update my list of read books on Goodreads  (0/1)
44) Read one book a week (0/143)
45) Read 30 literature classics (0/30)
46) Re-read all of the Harry Potter books in a row (0/7)
47) Read 5 to 7 new books with my kids every week (0/143)
48) Learn 3 to 5 new words every week and keep a log of them (0/143)
49) Put a list of my 20 favorite quotes together (0/20)

Career

50) Update my LinkedIn profile to highlight my writing skills and experience (0/1)
51) Create a new website for my freelance writing business (separate from my marketing website) (0/1)
52) Create an Excel spreadsheet for my business expenses and income for 2011 (0/1)
53) Track and document my business deductions and receipts for 2011 (0/1)

Family & Leisure

54) Spend one-on-one quality time once a week with my oldest (0/143)
55) Spend one-on-one quality time once a week with my youngest (0/143)
56) Establish 2 French-only days a week with my kids, including storytime (0/246)
57) Cook one large family dish every week (0/143)
58) Make/bake one family dessert every week (0/143)
59) Try 10 new recipes (0/10)
60) Bake Christmas cookies and share with friends and family (0/3)
61) Have 10 family picnics (0/10)
62) Try 10 new restaurants (0/10)
63) Go apple picking (0/1)
64) Shop at a farmer’s market (0/1)
65) Sing in the rain (0/1)
66) Enjoy some outdoor/indoor music (0/1)
67) Go whale watching (0/1)
68) Take two family vacations (0/2)
69) Make birthday cakes from scratch for every family birthday, including mine (0/15)
70) Make sure my oldest learns how to swim (0/1)
71) Make sure my youngest learns how to swim (0/1)
72) Watch one new movie with my husband every other week (0/72)
73) Watch 50 of IMDB’s Top 250 movies (http://www.imdb.com/chart/top) I haven’t seen yet (0/50)
74) Email or call my sister at least once a month (0/33)
75) Pet a dolphin (0/1)
76) Pet a horse (0/1)
77) See a waterfall (0/1)
78) Walk in a forest (0/1)
79) Make a snowman (0/1)
80) Stargaze and look for shooting stars (0/1)
81) Visit a botanical garden (0/1)
82) Go to Disneyland California (0/1)
83) Go to Legoland California (0/1)

Finances

84) Rollover the 401K from my most recent job into my personal IRA (0/1)
85) Set up college savings accounts for my two kids (0/1)
86) Write a will (for myself and my husband) and get life insurance (0/1)

Health & Personal Growth

87) Get at least 7 hours of sleep every night (0/1001)
88) Take my vitamins every day (0/1001)
89) Eat at least one good source of protein every day (0/1001)
90) Drink Diet Coke on weekends only (0/143)
91) Exercise (strenuously) at least 2 times a week (0/246)
92) Check my blood pressure twice a week (0/246)
93) Get 2 mammograms (1 a year) (0/2)
94) Go a whole day without saying no (0/1)
95) Not swear for a whole week (0/1)
96) Spend a whole weekend without computer or internet access (0/1)
97) Complete 5 Sudoku puzzles (0/5)
98) Get one or more massages (0/1)
99) Take a class to learn something new (0/1)
100) Do some volunteer work (0/1)
101) Develop 3 new friendships (0/3)

Now, as the Nike people say, “Just do it!”

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Breastfeeding – a tale of two hospitals

Breastfeeding - you can do it

When I originally wrote my post on the 10 things people don’t tell you about breastfeeding, several people told me I was lucky that breastfeeding worked for me and that it didn’t hurt. I felt compelled to explain that breastfeeding only worked for me because of my persistence and that it did hurt until I reached out for help.

I actually believe that most current medical establishments are unsupportive of breastfeeding mothers. Breastfeeding past the six-month mark should be considered a major personal achievement. For each of my two pregnancies, I used two different medical groups, where I had strikingly opposite experiences.

BABY #1

I received medical care through the Sharp medical group with my first son in San Diego County. My prenatal appointments went well and I received great medical care. Closer to my due date, I took a breastfeeding class where two hours to learn about “fish lips” and the various latches seemed adequate to learn about something as “natural” as breastfeeding. During my last OB visit, I was the lucky recipient of a tote bag containing containers of baby formula, formula coupons, and a booklet from a formula company explaining it was OK if I failed at breastfeeding and that formula was perfectly OK for my baby. Hmm, I’ll never need that stuff, I thought, so I’ll save it and donate it to another mom who can’t breastfeed… I shoved it all in a closet when I got home.

I gave birth at Mary Birch Hospital in San Diego. I attended a pre-birth hospital visit where the guide looked more like a PR executive in her corporate suit than medical personnel. There I learned the hospital handled over 6000 births a year. I felt in good hands, only to realize later that a hospital managing that many births may be more appropriately labeled as a “baby factory”, rushing you in and out to make room for the next birth. By the way, mom and dad can order a steak & lobster celebration dinner for $40 after the baby’s birth. Forget about that milkshake or burger you’re craving for after hours of labor, and upgrade to surf & turf!

On the day of my scheduled c-section, we soon found out that the buzzing excitement among the hospital staff was due to a rare event – a mom scheduled to give birth to quintuplets on that same day. Yes, five babies! All I can wish to any first-time mom is NOT to give birth on the same day as a large multiple birth. Nurses and doctors will clearly show that your baby’s birth is quite insignificant in comparison, rushing you out of the delivery area to “make room” for the event of the year…

My baby and I were assigned to a room and I tried to breastfeed him. That’s when I quickly realized I had NO CLUE what I was doing. I asked the nurse to check on us. She quickly glanced at my boob and expressed things looked OK. Overnight, I was in pain due to the surgery and wasn’t sure anything was coming out of my breasts to feed my baby. The night nurse told me it could take a few days for my milk to come but I should keep nursing to offer colustrum, without checking if I was producing any. By the next morning, my son’s bilirubin levels were high and the attending pediatrician explained we wouldn’t leave the hospital until his numbers went down. He explained I’d have to feed my baby well and often, so I kept putting him on my breast but noticed he was mostly sucking my nipple and falling asleep after a few minutes.

After two days in the hospital, my baby was losing weight and his bilirubin levels were still high, so I requested to see a lactation consultant. I was told I’d only see her on my release day (huh???) and that all nurses were trained to help. Sure they were, and each gave me different advice, apparently not making any difference in the results. Three days after birth, another pediatrician ordered that I feed my baby formula, accommodating my breastfeeding wishes by letting me use a small feeding tube alongside my nipple. By then I was exhausted, getting almost no sleep trying to feed a baby who sucked my raw nipples for a few minutes before falling asleep for hours. The formula order was a huge blow to my decision to breastfeed and made me feel inadequate as a new mom. On day 5, the baby looked better, clearly thanks to the formula and not me. The lactation consultant did stop by upon our release, noticed my raw nipples and suggested we see a lactation consultant after we left. Duh, where the heck were YOU for five days???

I left the hospital tired, angry, frustrated and with a hungry baby. Fortunately we quickly got an appointment with a lactation consultant, who in my opinion should be called “baby and mom lifesaver”. The kind lady patiently listened to my story, explained that c-sections usually delay milk coming in and that pumping several times a day and taking fenugreek should help stimulate production. She then showed me how to get my baby to latch properly and warned me that since my baby developed  bad sucking habits, I’d have to be diligent and mentor him, including stripping him down to his diaper if he fell asleep while sucking. Finally, she told me that I should have enough milk to feed my baby without need for formula. I spent the next week nursing, pumping, gulping fenugreek and visiting the lactation consultant. After two weeks, my baby was back to his birth weight and gaining more every day.

The next few months had their ups and downs. First thrush, then acid reflux, none of which couldn’t be solved with medication. By the time I reached the six-month mark, the painful experience of the first few weeks was almost forgotten. I ended up breastfeeding my son until he was 13 months old without another scoop of formula. I did donate the formula cans I received at the OB’s office, as well as the several cans I received afterwards in the mail. The formula manufacturers surely spend a lot of marketing dollars on new moms to support their multi-billion dollar a year business!

BABY #2

I had my second baby through Kaiser Permanente, again in San Diego. During my last pregnant month, I was given reminders about breastfeeding classes and hospital visits. The hospital visit was given by a real delivery nurse in scrubs who shared real birth stories. There was no mention of steak & lobster dinner. Bummer…

There was no large multiple birth on the day I delivered either. Knowing I’d have another c-section, I had gotten myself ready to nurse by taking fenugreek several days before and knew I may have to pump in the hospital. Somehow the fenugreek made me produce colustrum before the birth, so my hopes were high I’d have something to feed my boy. I gave birth in the morning and got a visit from the official lactation consultant in the afternoon. By then I was proud to tell her that things were going well and that baby #2 looked like a natural born sucker! On the second day, the same lady stopped by and congratulated me for being such a pro, pumping me up (no pun intended!) to continue with my nursing plans. I then heard her consult the first-time mom sharing my hospital room who had had problems nursing her baby and was ready to switch to formula. The LC stayed for 30 minutes until that baby latched properly and I heard that mom expressed relief and thanks. The hospital sent me home with a real nice diaper bag (not a tote bag), with NO formula samples or coupons inside, but instead a booklet on breastfeeding and a large cloth to use as a nursing cover. You can love or hate Kaiser Permanente, but I give them a lot of credit for promoting breastfeeding and saying no to the high pressure of baby formula lobbyists.

I continued breastfeeding my youngest until he was 14 months old with no bumps along the road. I wished my first had been as easy but I have no regrets having gone through such challenging times, as I believe it built up my resilience as a mother. I had no idea I’d need so much of it today, when my boys are four, and two and a half years old!

My advice to all moms who plan to breastfeed out there is to: hope for the best, get ready for the worst and reach out for all the support you need to help you succeed. You may be surprised how easy it is for some pediatricians to choose the easy road and entice you with formula feeding. An understanding lactation consultant will be your best ally to find a solution that is best for you and your baby, whether it implies breastfeeding, or formula feeding, or both. The ultimate goal is for your baby to be healthy and you to be happy.

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Turning 40 today – how I survived the big 40…

40 and fabulous T-shirt

Wow, I turned 40 today and I made it through the day without flipping out! Maybe it will hit me hard when I wake up tomorrow, but it doesn’t seem like a big deal at this moment. I remember when my own mother was 40. I was 15 myself and back then, I thought she was sooooo old… Today, I’m the one reaching that milestone and my perspective is obviously different. I was 36 when I had my first child and 38 for the second, so to my 15-year-old self, I’d look quite ancient!

Growing up (and eventually growing older) has quite a few advantages in my opinion. When I turned 20, I didn’t know anything about life and I didn’t care. The world was completely open and out there for me to discover. Over the next 10 years I figured things out and found myself, including by moving to another continent and sticking to a job I would enjoy long-term. By the time I turned 30, I felt like I finally graduated to adulthood, and it was a cool place to be. Another 10 years have gone by and at 40, I feel like I have proven myself to other people (I have a career and I can handle two kids, well, most of the time) and now I’d like to prove to myself that I can develop some other talents and interests. Which talents, I’m not sure yet, but that’s what makes life interesting every day.

And yes, my “40 and fabulous” T-shirt from Cafe Press is in the mail, and I can’t wait to wear it! To all moms out there 40 and over, carpe diem! As KebMo says it so well, “life is beautiful, life is wondrous…”

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