Category Archives: Humor, fun, jokes

Goofy Monday: Don’t drive like my brother!

Wow, it’s been a long time since I wrote a Goofy Monday post. I’ve been writing all these funny things my kids say on memos on my cell phone and I’m just going through the list right now to put this post together. You’ve got to love technology for helping you capture these thoughts right in the moment, when you don’t have a piece of paper handy and your memory has more holes than Swiss cheese.

LEGOLAND driving school

Goofy Monday: Legoland driving school - Copyright Lego

Goofy Monday: Legoland driving school – Copyright Lego

I recently took my kids to LEGOLAND California, and while we were waiting in line for the driving school attraction, we had plenty of time to look at the kids who were currently driving around. So many of them were running stop signs and red lights, driving on the wrong side of the road and crashing into other cars, that made waiting in line very entertaining. And then we reached the front of the line.

Me: “Are you guys ready to hit the road?”
Son #1: “Yes! Hey, everybody, don’t drive like my brother!”

I burst out laughing when I heard him say that! Can you guess we’re fans of NPR’s Car Talk radio show? We’ve obviously heard their signature goodbye line too many times. The funny thing is, I could easily picture my kids having their own radio show one day, and crack up jokes while they help people solve their mechanical or engineering problems. Or maybe, their Lego building problems…

Lego vs. Mega Bloks super heroes

Talking about Lego, one of its copycats competitors is Mega Bloks. And although we happen to have mostly Lego at our house, we also have a few Mega Bloks sets.

Son #1 (talking to the Mega Bloks character his brother is holding): “Come up here so we can ride together.”
Son #2: “I’m Mega Bloks. I don’t fit on Lego.”

Haha, sorry Mega Bloks, so much for taking down the Lego empire. Even 5 and 7-year olds know better than try to mix them up.

Love stinks
Son #2: “Mama, you look so beautiful tonight!”
Me: “Aw, thank you!”
Son #2: “Ew, you have stinky breath!!!”
Ah, the joys of motherhood…

Cracking nuts
Son #2 performs a stunt, jumping high and landing in a fake split position.
Me: “Are you OK?”
Son #2: “Argh, I think I cracked a nut ball.”

Life with boys is never boring. Ever. But I love every minute of it. What are some of your kids’ favorite lines?

Meet Wink, our elf on the shelf

A few years ago, I was tempted to get the popular Elf on the shelf. I thought, what better way to motivate my kids to be good the month before Christmas? But thinking of it, I wanted them to try their best every day, not just a few weeks before toy overload day. I never thought the day would come when BOTH my kids would ask me to get them an elf on the shelf. Apparently, there’s a lot of peer pressure at school, and when a bunch of kids in your class have their own elf on the shelf, you’d better get one too. Ah, what a brilliant marketing idea…

So a couple of weeks ago, we visited our local Target and purchased our elf. Of course, it had to be a boy (once again, I’m outnumbered). We brought the packaged book/elf box home, carefully took our elf out and put him up above our fireplace. After a few minutes debating, the kids decided to name him Wink. I’m a little disturbed by the fact that Wink doesn’t have feet but I understand that frostbite can be a result of living at the North Pole.

Wink, our elf on the shelf

Wink, our elf on the shelf

Doesn’t he look cute and innocent? I asked my kids if they thought Wink was nice or mischievous. They wholeheartedly agreed he was NICE! Apparently, all elves who report to Santa at the North Pole every night have to be nice. And for the first few days, I enjoyed catching my kids talking to Wink once in a while, asking him to report some things to Santa, even ask him for “the force”. I figure, when kids can believe in the magic of Christmas, why wouldn’t they think that the force is real too? Hey, I’d like some of that!

Wink was busy on his first night at our house. When he came back from his visit to the North Pole, he made the boys some paper snowflakes and left them a note. How nice!

Wink makes paper snowflakes

Wink makes paper snowflakes

I guess Wink saw us putting together the walls for our gingerbread house because during the next night, he took a look at the candy decorations for it. I should add that he didn’t eat any.

Wink helps us with the gingerbread house

Wink helps us with the gingerbread house

Another night, Wink couldn’t resist playing with the balloon decorations the boys got. Riding an airplane while holding a sword, how fun!

Wink on a balloon airplane

Wink on a balloon airplane

Wink discovered we were doing a Christmas countdown on our white board, so he decided to update the picture for us. The boys were very impressed with his idea!

Wink draws on our Christmas countdown white board

Wink draws on our Christmas countdown white board

We have so many Lego at our house, I guess it’s hard for an elf to resist. Here he is, playing with a Lego Legends of Chima speedorz. Zoom zoom!

Wink with Lego Chima speedorz

Wink with Lego Chima speedorz

After we finished our gingerbread house, Wink stopped by to inspect it.

Wink checks out our gingerbread house

Wink checks out our gingerbread house

He must have realized there was something wrong with this house’s decorations. Yep, that’s because Son #1 turned into Hans and started eating them one by one. The gingerbread house actually looked like this when we finished it. I’m so glad I took a picture of the intact model! Do you know how hard it is to make that stuff with two boys that try to sabotage your artistic efforts?

Gingerbread house decorations

Gingerbread house decorations

I guess all that candy made Wink hungry because he eventually found our candy stash in the kitchen. Yum, gummy worms!

Wink finds our candy

Wink finds our candy

My son left his book overnight on the couch. I hear it’s a very funny book and I think Wink agrees. Look, he even got to read it with his friends the polar bear and the husky.

Wink reads a book

Wink reads a book

And when I added more presents under the Christmas tree, guess who was there to tell the kids?

Wink under the Christmas tree

Wink under the Christmas tree

All this time, Wink stayed downstairs. Well, that was until last night, when he finally ventured upstairs into the boys’ bedroom (Mama, how did Wink open the bedroom door?). He must have been very excited to see a Lego Star Wars X-wing fighter.

Wink rides a Lego Star Wars X-wing fighter

Wink rides a Lego Star Wars X-wing fighter

And now the big question is, where will Wink be tomorrow morning? Will be stay upstairs in the boys’ room or will he go back downstairs? What do you think Wink should add to his list of adventures?

WordPress weekly photo challenge: unexpected – and 50% off my photo calendars

I’m reblogging from my nature photography website today, simply because I have the perfect photo for this theme and my kids were with me when I took it.

I also want to start this post with a big announcement: my 2014 nature photography calendars (choose between five different themes) are available for sale at 50% off on my online Zazzle store today (all other products are 20% off). Enter code BLKFRIDAY541 at checkout; code valid until November 22, 2013, midnight. All calendars are made to order in the USA so you support the US economy with your purchase, and a starving artist (me!). I also appreciate any referral through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and of course your blog or website.

Today I’m participating in the WordPress weekly photo challenge and this week’s theme is “unexpected”. If you like what you see, feel free to subscribe and receive nature photography updates a few times a week.

I know the Oxford Dictionaries recently named “selfie” as word of the year, but seriously, “photobomb” would have been my pick. Here’s nature’s version of a photobomb: an unexpected mallard duck flying in front of a white pelican as I was trying to take its picture. Thanks, dude.

Wordpress weekly photo challenge: Unexpected duck flies in front of pelican

WordPress weekly photo challenge: Unexpected duck flies in front of pelican

You can view the rest of my photos of white pelicans in San Diego here.

Goofy Monday: keeping up with kid logic

Remember that my 2014 nature photography calendars are available for sale on my online Zazzle store.  All calendars are made to order in the USA so you support the US economy with your purchase, and a starving artist at the same time (me!). I appreciate all referrals through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and of course your blog or website. Save 10% off my 2014 photo calendars (choose between five different themes) and up to 60% off on other products. Enter code HOLIDAYCOUNT at checkout; code valid until November 21, 2013, midnight.

It’s a new edition of Goofy Monday! Did you miss it? I think being around kids is a great way to keep your brain alert and working. And constantly confused. I love how kid logic works. Kids really do say the darndest things.

Deep conversation for breakfast
Son #1: “Mama, when we’re all done with this life, can I have the box?”
Me: “What? Life? Box?”
Son #1: “This box.” (shaking the Life cereal box)
Me: “Phew!”
Warning: eating Life cereal can lead to conversations that are way, way too deep for breakfast time.

Box of life cereal

Box of life cereal

Star Wars Logic
Son #1 (looking at a Star Wars book): “It looks like the guys Darth Vader killed. But not the ones that are dead.”
Hmm, I think I need a Star Wars refresher… Which guys would those be?

Bucket of army men
We’re driving through San Diego’s Balboa Park, on the way to the zoo.
Son #1: “Wow, I just saw some army men. But not the plastic kind.”
Haha, why do kids have to insert toy references to every conversation?

Bucket of army men

Bucket of army men

Money doesn’t grow on trees
Son #1: “Who wants $400?”
Son # 2: “Meeeee!”
Son #1: “Then you’ll have to earn $400.”
I guess that’s why they call seven the age of reason. He’s learning fast.

I’m a dork
Son #1: “Let’s play the word guessing game. I’ll go first. It starts with a D.”
Me: “Hmm, I think we need more clues.”
Son #1: “It’s something to do with the pool.”
Son #2: “Water! Jump! Splash!”
Me: “Oh, I don’t know. Dehydrated?” (Wow, did I seriously just say that???)
Son #1: “No! It’s dive, like a submarine.”
Now, wouldn’t you love to see a submarine dive in a pool?